AND I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE because i just checked my lj reminder things for the first time in a billion years ksjdhfg



ICEBERRY, TYLER, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS! ;A;


TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU BECAUSE


WHILE I AM AN EXTREMELY BAD FRIEND, I AM AN EXTREMELY GOOD HOBO





ALSO TYLER GIVE ME YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS


FOR REAL-REAL THIS TIME










SERIOUSLY

I currently have 100 dollars to my name again, but a specific someone says she'll pay me back the 175 she weaseled out of me in the middle of December.

I currently have my bald and naked Kafei doll and my Sesshomaru head listed for sale after something like three months of unending internal debate, at 115 and 85 dollars respectively.

When those sell (which they will, as I'm pricing them pretty low and someone put in something of an unofficial hold on Kafei about three minutes after I posted his sale page, hurr) I'm going to buy the AS head that I've been pining for. Which I'm assuming will cost 85ish dollars after paypal fees [which AS shouldn't charge as it's against paypal's rules. 8|] and domestic shipping from the GO organizer.

After my sister pays me back, because oh god am I ever going to make sure that she pays me back, I'm going to be buying something that totals 240 dorra.

Then when I receive the AS head, depending on if its resin matches my loli's body or not, I'll be selling one of the two heads and getting my 70-85 dollars back.

So in the end, which I presume will be in about two months from now because AS is slow, I'll have 235, a mere 40 dollars less then what I started with, to keep for emergencies and for helping out around here, along with everything I want/want gone via what one could consider some extremely roundabout doll trading.

Ha ha!


Also, my timing really couldn't be better, because AS is having an epic Christmas event - with each 500+ order until the new year, along with free EMS shipping, they're including two freebie heads that will be worth anywhere from 40 to 70ish each on the secondary market. Also, a cute tiger plushy. The group order organizer is going to be keeping the order open until it reaches 500 dollars, and will be giving out the heads via raffle. And the moment one of my dolls sell, I'm going to give the person my order, which will put the GO at over 250 with five people in it, myself included. Assuming the GO organizer doesn't change their mind, I am liking these odds.

scalper hell scalper hell scalper hell


tl;dr: oh god the last time I slept was for three hours on Friday morning, but planning all this out has put me in an insurmountably good mood, despite all the bullcrap and my dizzy nausea.

Also, my sister is gone for the day. So much for trying to get my sleeping schedule back to some semblance of normalcy again sjhdgf

wharblbdfg.

I spent Thanksgiving alone and it was magical, I've been trying to make my sleeping schedule coherent and it's not working and I've slept like six hours in the last two days because my sister has EIGHT PEOPLE OVER WHAT THE FUCK and they've been here since two in the morning on Friday, I haven't really been eating much because there's nothing to eat as my sister's friends keep clearing out the goddamned house ksjdhfjdjhfgh And. I'm stressing out about everything.

Mostly because of next week/redundant college things.

tl;dr: I am very stressed, tired, and cranky.

I want the holiday season to be over so badly. I don't think my sanity will be able to last another month if this level of PLEASE KILL ME WITH FIRE keeps up.

/complain complain complain


Also, it's been ridiculously rainy and windy here. Our grill, which weighs a ton, was pushed to the other side of our deck and our grill cover is nowhere to be found. Which has never happened before. We live right next to the fire station, and they've been dispatching people non-stop all weekend, presumably because of trees falling over. THE SIRENS ARE UNENDING.

Also-also, Horoko, sdfjhgjfdfhg.

I'm so, so sorry if my incessant e-deaths and all the fuuuu- is freaking you out. I WILL NOT HIJACK YOUR TEN DOLLARS DAMMNIITTTTT. 8||||

When it comes to handling money and conducting business over the internet, I keep it as separate from the bursts of RL bullcrap as I possibly can.

And speaking of e-commerce/on a better note, I bought a slew of items awhile back planning to sell them around now, because a majority of people aren't like me and don't plan six months in advance for birthdays/Christmas, which I finally got around to doing. And, they sold for quite a bit, and I am happy. Because AT&T is still taking their sweet, sweet time in issuing my mother a refund, and now I can actually pull my weight again for awhile.

brb scalper hell

so ronrey

I have a tendency towards keeping to myself, and unless any partner I may have in the future happens to be my ~*~soul mate~*~, I will likely still keep to myself about numerous things.

There are various facets of my mind and personality that I entirely wouldn't expect anyone significant to me to accept; or at least accept, and still willingly remain 'my significant other' from their perspective.

While, yes, the crippling fear of rejection and the knowledge of how low and spiteful one's 'true love' can, and likely will, be once LOVE IS OVER! does indeed play some part in my lingering reluctance to opening up, and there's always the constant pressure of living up to what any potential partner of mine would deserve, as they'd clearly be settling for me out of all the better fish in the sea, it's really more that, in my experience, unconditional love is only unconditional for so long before the line of human tolerance is crossed, and your partner throws up their arms and exclaims 'this is bullshit!' before running off to Russia with your PIN number. (The 'line of human tolerance' commonly existing between their current significant other, and someone else who has more favorable 'assets.')


Honestly, say if I were to admit to my owning of a vast horse ranch, and having filmed hours upon hours of hardcore horse-on-loli pornography. I honestly don't think that any potential boyfriend of mine would remain my boyfriend for much longer, the siren song of the FBI's hotline would be so great.





...Wait.

My fucking sister came home after being gone all weekend, and when my mother got on her case for not even bothering to call, she started turning it around so it was my fault.

Then I chimed in with an intelligent version of 'shut the fuck up and own up for once in your goddamn life'

After my mother went downstairs, she fucking comes at me, and bites me on the arm so hard that it drew fucking blood.

And it's still bleeding pretty fucking badly, and this happened fifteen minutes ago.

I punched her in the head to get her fucking off me, and now she's gone, back to palling around with her fucking degenerate meth-head friends.


I am so goddamn livid. So goddam impossibly pissed off.


I can't even go to a fucking clinic, despite not trusting that fucking little whore to not have herpes or something.


Just.

LSKDJHFGFJKDSDJKFHKDJFHUG GOD FUCKING FUCK.

"You know, the more I think about Bella, the more shocked and appalled I am at her behavior. Throughout the movies she displays a neediness and selfishness that verges on sociopathic, almost as if she can’t even begin to comprehend the feelings of others as she leaves misery and broken hearts in her wake– and not just of her potential paramours. Think about her father, Charlie, and all the melodrama he has to put up with. She regularly comes home battered, bruised, and beaten, but answers his honest concerns only with lies. She disappears into the woods, collapses from exhaustion and exposure, causing him to mobilize a town-wide search for her fucking dead body, and returns with absolutely no explanation. Then she drops everything to flee to Italy for an indeterminate amount of time, and even the vampire Alice voices more concern for Charlie’s feelings than Bella does. Her hopeless, helpless, woe-is-fucking-me attitude veers beyond mere misogyny and becomes truly grotesque.

Think about her friends and her mother, whose lives would be devastated if her suicidal thrill-seeking ended her life. Does she care? No, because she can’t see beyond her own needs, acting for months like a petulant child denied her favorite toy. When it becomes clear that becoming a vampire would call off the truce between the Cullens and the werewolves, does Bella care that her incessant demands to become a vampire would therefore put the Cullens (who she claims to care about) in constant, mortal danger? No. Does she care that people are dying, being torn apart by wolves, sucked dry by vengeful vampires, all because she doesn’t have the good sense to get away from undead monsters? No. Does she care that her dad, who dotes on her constantly (only God knows why) has to clean up after these bodies? No. Does she even spare a moment to consider Edward’s feelings against turning her into a monster like him? No.

In fact, her desire to become a vampire is completely selfish as well. She’s worried about getting old, fat, and wrinkly like everyone else, and damn it, that’s not fair! Why should Edward stay young and dreamy for all eternity, and not ME? ME, ME, ME! Even once Edward has gone, I don’t think her pissy mood has as much to do with being alone as hating the thought that Edward could possibly be happy without her.

Anyone who relates to this girl is incredibly disturbed and needs some serious mental help. Anyone who’s ever been in love has perhaps wrestled with the same feelings, the same neediness that Bella experiences in these movies, but good lord, it’s a high school crush. We got over it. We moved on. Sure, that first love and that first loss were hell, but we got a fucking grip on our lives and moved on. You should never have to beg for love, and if you do, it ain’t love."


A man after my own heart, etc, etc

My last week in tl;dr:

My sister has been home sick since being ~*~diagnosed with swine flu~*~ and has not once had a fever. Several of her friends are riding the swine flu bandwagon, and have parked themselves here. I am responsible for (doting on) all of them, and picking up their homework from school every day. I also have not gotten sick, despite being around 9001 'sick' people with 'highly contagious viruses desu.' EVERYONE IS BLIND AND A MORON. GAH.

My sister and her friends thought taking my sewing machine and trying to sew together three layers of corduroy without asking me was a good idea. Because they're idiots, my sewing machine now has various things wrong with it, and the freaking foot pedal and power chord is somehow MIA. One of her friends thought it was their cellphone adapter, or something? I don't even-- OFC, no one is offering any sort of compensation in regards to paying for shipping so I can get it fixed under its warranty.

AT&T triple charged my mother in error and refused to refund her money because they took it directly out of her bank account. And that made it 'the bank's responsibility' to fix, apparently. The bank, the same one I used to use before DELEESHUS GREENBEENZ, said that they'd cover the various checks she had out and not charge her overdraft fees, because it was going to take two weeks to resolve AT&T's fuckup.

In the meantime, she could enjoy a very nice freeze on her account.

Well, one of the major checks she had out was for our rent. The bank just bounced it back to our landlord, and he's sort of pissed. 8| Because, you know, it's not like paying our rent ether early or on time for the last four years means anything to him.

And, various other things I can't even remember. Gah.

On the plus side, I have registered for AIB's visit day thing on December 8th and am taking an animation workshop. And then I'm going to the 'local' Middlesex and Goodwin community colleges, to actually talk to someone in person because the people I keep getting on the phone are idiots and no one replies to my emails.

I also have managed to locate and painstakingly assemble almost all of ThouShaltNot's music from no less then 9001 places. I will be sharing this shortly.

Also-also, i haven't gotten stopped by any police yet 8UUUUUUUU;;;;

I HAVE OBTAINED SIX BAGS OF SHRIMP CRACKERS!

I love my car, I put five dollars in it a week ago and have driven a total of 14 hours. I am still at half a tank.


Oh, and I have an actual profile now, sort of.

And I haven't checked my email in like a week oh god

Because, you know, Darkness!Fubuki wasn't just a one-off marketing gimmick for the Dragon's Rage structure deck, and I'm sure that the creators of YGO wrack their brains for hours on end to implement homg deep cooulerz into every one of their special snowflake 2D children, and spend a lot of time designing the linear aspect of their aforementioned unique snowflake children.

And I'm sure that not once has Kazuki Takahashi intended for characters like Crow to be radically different from what they ended up being due to the animation crew's strange notion that they actually know what they're doing, and that characters like Cobra and Trueman were and are absolutely not blatant parodies of well-known franchises like G.I. Joe or The Matrix.

Also, Amon was always suppose to be Caucasian, and he definitely wasn't suppose to have a Tilaka.


( THE MASK IS SUPPOSE TO BE RED-EYES NOT A GOAT, WHY THE NONSENSICAL AND EXTREMELY SLOPPY [I'M LOOKING AT YOU, HONEST] COLOR SHIFT FROM RED TO BLUE SEIZURELIGHTS AND UNDER THIS CUT IS A GIGANTIC ~*~COLOR ANALYSIS~*~ THING IF YOU COULDN'T HAVE GUESSED )

I'm pretty sure that today has been one of the most shittastic days in my life.


tl;dr:

MY SISTER AND HER BOYFRIEND HAVE SWINE FLU~~!!


Which I think is a load of bullshit, as my sister is completely and totally fine. But her boyfriend probably has it. 8U


Doctors are idiots who can't diagnose shit, etc, etc, and I think I'm going to punch the next person who treats getting H1N1 like an instant death sentence, instead of, you know, the fucking flu.

BUT ANYWAY, after about 9001 tries, I have successfully commissioned someone on Gaia who doesn't suck. To draw guro of Trueman.

lolololololololo


But cripes, the level of 'his face isn't a triangle and his hair isn't long and white keep walking hissssssss' that I've been getting is unreal. Some of the refusals being from people who claim to be art students, currently. ¯\(°_o)/¯



Also, I never complained about it here because I'd just end up being extremely/needlessly redundant, but Desuchan was taken down something hardcore on the fifth. Due to loli and dolljoints.

THE PLACES I CAN GO TO ENJOY BALL JOINTED DOLL RELATED THINGS WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T COMPLETELY INSANE IS DOWN TO ZERO NOW

AUGHHSDJFKDJHFGJDHFG

"hi!!! =^__^=

i saw your piccy thread and really, really like your style!!

would you do an art trade with me??? :O

i'd be super happy if you could make me a color piccy with sesshomaru from inuyasha, ed from fma, and yami from yugioh!! but if you could make them fighting over me that would be even better LOL

heres an example of my art! thx!!

http://i38.tinypic.com/2r3w36h.jpg"


8|

DRAWME!

ANON MEME

fffffffff

brb injuring wrist more often


But aksjdhf. Every time I don't draft the head out when I'm drafting the body, I can't get it to look right. Every tiimmeee.

Also his legs are proportionate to the rest of him, but they look short to me. Which means I am probably doin' it wrong.

AND THIS IS THE FIRST FULL-BODY SKETCH I'VE DONE THAT HASN'T BEEN IN SOME WONKY POSE IN THE LAST LIKE


FIVE YEARS


WOOOO!

My mother is trying to set me up with one of her co-workers who is around the same age as me, apparently.


DO NOT WANT


DO NOT WANT AT ALL


I am in no position for ~*~romance desu~*~ and until now, I assumed she understood this.

Because if all goes according to keikaku, I'm ether going to be living on campus out of state, or spending all of my time alternating between school and werk.

Additionally, every man that has ever shown interest in me has ended up being a complete psychopath. So let's wait until I can stand on my own two feet plz before I end up being cut into small pieces and crammed into a cardboard box


Also, I have a Gaia online account. Just because.

I use it maybe once a year around their Halloween events, because their events and their site in general are oh, exploitable to anyone who has a brain.

In about two hours, I went from 2k to about 300k with firefox's reload every app, and a rotating proxy.

HA HA!

brb, seeing if I don't loose my mind/go blind trying to use their forums to find a suitable artist to commission.

I MEAN, WITH THIS MUCH E-MONEY, I COULD COMMISSION SNAPESNOGGER!!!

ahdhgf but i love trueman's delicious manry nose ;___;

I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT...


Also, OH MY GOD THIS IS THE CUTEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN OR EVER WILL SEE FFFFFFF so cute that i botched the link lolwhoops

Also-also, as this journal is now about lolis, in the event that anyone wants to cosplay Haruhi or sumsht for 20 dollars, Bodyline is having a free shipping promotion this month on $50+ orders. Which is awesome, as their shipping usually runs 30-40+ dollars due to forced DHL/EMS.

I'm debating whether or not I want to tell my current priorities to go jump off a cliff, scrounge together 20 bucks before the end of the month for a pair of contacts or sumsht, and hold a small group order to get the free shipping. Because 20 dollar contacts adhfjsdhfg. /irresponsible forever

And this dressuthing is awesome BUT WHERE WOULD YOU WEAR THIS SORT OF THING

Oh EGL I will never quite understand you, living in the middle of a forest has poisoned my mind so.


Also this.

/awake

/botched that last link, too

Because awesome.


I'm so extraordinarily jaded that encountering an artist who has worked on, and is working on, something so big and hardcore but who is actually using something like DeviantArt for real is just. Phenomenal.

I'm so use to coming across hardcore artists who toss out teasers and whatnot to advertise and promote sales, and who have a tendency to leave journals/comments that just feel cold and, well, that are primarily to advertise and promote sales. 8U;

It's so refreshing to see a professional artist who's actually acting like something other then an extension of the company's sales department, and who is actually deriving joy from their work.

srslynever4get, the CNN or whatever segment Horoko showed me on Japanese animation studios. 'ANIMATION ISN'T A FIELD YOU GO INTO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD AT DRAWING, OR DRAW FOR A HOBBY RAAEEGGG' well then who the hell else would go into animation? 8|

I MEAN, TWEENING IN KOREA 4LIFE, MAKING WELL BELOW MINIMUM WAGE, CRAMMED INTO A SMALL ROOM WITH 30 CHAIN-SMOKING MEN WITH NO WINDOWS OR AIR CONDITIONERS?

SOUNDS AWESOME!

SOME DAY, MARK MY WORDS, I WILL LIVE THE DREAM.

LIVE THE DREAM!


ALSO I WILL BE SURE NOT TO DRINK ANY WATER FOR SEVERAL DAYS STRAIGHT AS TO NOT SWEAT ON MY DRAWINGS


BECAUSE JAPANESE ANIMATORS ARE HARDCORE IN THEIR SUPERIOR KNOWINGS


also srsly all my production stuff, despite having it for years, still absolutely reeks of cigarette smoke. Also those bastards used the best sketches from my cuts as coasters for THEIR WATER THAT THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DRINKING on more then one occasion. /raeg 8||||



also hello 4AM oh god I don't know if what I'm typing right now even makes sense ffff


brb bread

DAMNIT JANIME MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WANT TO NOT NOTIFY ME ABOUT THINGS AGAIN AND NOTIFY ME ABOUT IT AFSKJDHFG



AND IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE AFTER VIEWING THIS, CONGRATULATION! A WINNER IS YOU!

Horoko hadn't joined me yet, and ofc this chick's camera had to die before anything really painfully boring happened, but oh god wtf was i thinking fffff

BUT WOO YOU ALL GET TO SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD SORT OF AWESOME

Also that Eureka cosplayer was amazing, but I didn't get a chance to take a picture of her, nor did we see her again for the rest of the con. :< Because she had the right idea, and bailed waayyy before the panel ended. 8|

And it dawns on me that I never did write up a con review, nor did I rall everyone with how I was almost robbed/gang raped/sodomized/etc by a crazy hobo in the New York subways.

TWO DOLLARS IS NOT EIGHT DOLLARS AND OH GOD GB2/JAIL/ AHHHHHH


Also, is anyone having issues with Firefox? lol million dollar question ARUGH WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOUUUU I have to clear my cookies and cache every time I open a new tab, otherwise it gives me various error pages anywhere I try to go.

This has been going on for awhile, but just became infinitely more awful [ie: having to clear my sht with new tabs as apposed to new browsers] with the new update. I thought updates were suppose to fix this, not make it fifty times worse.